Yup, that's exactly what I said when I introduced my song for the first time in front of people. It's definitely not easy to be this vulnerable in front of strangers, especially on this particular topic. I mean just writing about it now makes me cringe a little. The thoughts that run through my head are, will they laugh ?...maybe a little. Do I sound desperate? I hope not.
This song was written back in 2013, the bridge was hidden in my journal a few years before that. I desperately wanted to finish it, but the melody in my head was not transposed properly on paper. I could not play it, I could only sing it, and so...I gave up. It would just be another song tucked away in pages, never to be shared. It was just mine.
One day after church my friend Alex came to me and asked, "Hey Jocelyn, they told me to ask you personally if you'd be willing to perform for a songwriters series at the McAllen Incubator. My eyes widened, I asked are you sure it was me? He laughed and said... you're the only Jocelyn I know. Disclaimer he didn't, but we'll get back to this. I told him I was honored but that I only had one song I'd be willing to share, one which was not yet finished.
"Alex, I only have the bridge." Alex smiled and said, "no worries I'll help you, sing it to me and I'll compose the melody." Just like that the most talented musician I knew willing to help me bring this song to life.
There, at the church in a small corner, I opened my secret journal and I let my friend see my heart. He told me, give it a title. I responded with, well it is about unveiling my true self to someone whom I will choose to trust forever. It is about feeling safe, I looked at him and said. Unmasked, the name of this song is Unmasked.
With the bridge intact he began to play the sweetest melody my heart was beating. Alex encouraged me to just sing out the words that would come out as he played. I thought, that only happens to real artists, but I followed his advice and the first verse came to fruition. The first stanza was done. I didn't want to rush it, the next week he offered to meet again and finish the song.
A week went by and I had written the rest of the lyrics. Alex encouraged me, he said it a very good song. Words I'll always cherish. I was very grateful for my brother who would take time out of his own busy schedule to help me with this song.
The recording in this page is the recording of the first time we did a run through once the song had been completed. I hope it blesses you.
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The day of playing this song had arrived. I sang in front of family, friends, and strangers, I was scared, but I was safe because I had someone I trusted next to me.
After playing it for the first time, Alex confessed that when they had asked for him to get Jocelyn they didn’t mean me, but that I was the first one he thought of and he was glad it was me.
This song was...is for my future husband. In the process of writing this song, I understood He is in the waiting, I realized it was not only for my future spouse but a song that echoed the longing of Jesus himself. In front of Jesus, I am not hidden, I am fully known, in front of Jesus I am safe restored and loved.
I now take this song out of my personal vault in memory of a great kind brother. Oh, how we miss you. I thought one day I’d be able to sing this song to my husband while Alex played his guitar. Unfortunately, that won’t happen. As tears run down my face I am beyond thankful to have had the opportunity to worship alongside him.
To Alex: I am beyond grateful to have had a glimpse of your gift. You allowed me to have this song along with others come out of its pages. It still rings true. There wasn’t a slight of arrogance to your leading and guiding, there was only joy, and truth in the process. Thank you.
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