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Grapple as you Gather

When we think about gatherings many of us think of a group of people coming together to have a good time. For most, gatherings tend to be a light and not at all stressful social event. In November I was invited by my best friend to attend a women’s gathering organized by my former home church. I thought about it and said, maybe. Later I was personally encouraged by my former pastor to attend, and my response was a GIF of Peter from Family Guy mouthing the words Perhaps. I did register for the event but as soon as my mind got a hold of the yes, my body's response was a crippling no. It was odd to think this way when my previous church has known me for more than ten years. My thoughts surged with lies of, "why would they want me there, I'm not part of that church. No one knows me anymore, I'm a stranger. I became uncomfortable. Now, I knew the event was Friday through Sunday. The week prior to the event was quite busy and to be honest I was running on only a few hou...
Recent posts

Delay is Not Denial

  We are habitual forgetful people. Have you noticed how time and time again we forget of the many blessings we have received? Think about it, if you’re somehow at this moment miserable, didn’t you at one point pray for where you are at now? There was joy and suddenly there isn’t. You’ve prayed big prayers, or if you’re like me you pray small because you think that either you’re undeserving or because HE’s done more than enough for you to keep wanting; this doesn’t negate the fact that in the waiting we stay wanting.   Let me just remind you, when I say we I mean me, but feel free to relate and remind me that I’m not alone in this. Lately I’ve been meditating on something a sweet friend told me, “Jocelyn, delay is not denial and even though you are hidden you are not forgotten.” Her words pierced my heart with a reminder that my big or small prayers are not overlooked by the one who hears and keeps them. He may hold them unanswered, but He does not withhold no good thing. -...

Blankets of Life

“Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life-well, valuable, but small- and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven’t been brave?  -Kathleen Kelly Leave it to a chick flick to give me all the feels and blow my mind with its daunting question. Have I wasted it? Don’t mind me, just here having my milestone birthday crisis.  Turning 30 for so many can have the welcoming feeling of “I’ve arrived” or “I’m a real ADULT now, let’s celebrate me!”  I must confess I feel quite the opposite. : Ugh, tilts head back:  Even now as I am writing I am second guessing myself. See, if you’re like me you have lived with the comforting habitual habits that can steal your joy. Seriously, how many of us fall back and take hold of our very own Linus Van Pelt Blanket. What a comfort and sense security we get from rags.   I want to say, I’m too old for a blanket, but fear is fond of covers. And there it is the root. The fear whi...

Hi, my name is Jocelyn and this is my song. "My Future Husband Song"

         Yup, that's exactly what I said when I introduced my song for the first time in front of people. It's definitely not easy to be this vulnerable in front of strangers, especially on this particular topic. I mean just writing about it now makes me cringe a little. The thoughts that run through my head are, will they laugh ?...maybe a little. Do I sound desperate? I hope not.        This song was written back in 2013, the bridge was hidden in my journal a few years before that.    I desperately wanted to finish it, but the melody in my head was not transposed properly on paper. I could not play it, I could only sing it, and so...I gave up. It would just be another song tucked away in pages, never to be shared. It was just mine.     One day after church my friend Alex came to me and asked, "Hey Jocelyn, they told me to ask you personally if you'd be willing to perform for a songwriters series at ...

Set Apart: The Joys and the Hurt of Singleness.

This is an old blog that pretty much still rings truth within me. What are your thoughts ? I’m curious to see how our perspective in this topic has changed. It's been a long time since I have been thinking of writing about singleness, in fact I have spent about a year and half asking married, engaged, and singles, in and outside the church what difficulties as well as joys has the season of singleness provided. The answers were similar. This is what God revealed. Being vulnerable through the season of singleness can be an overwhelming task of the heart. The lies hit you left and right, "I'm not good enough, I'm too this, I’m not that..." and the list goes on. Everything in you in and outside of you tells you that once you find "the one" all will be as it should. Big misconception, I have talked to many married men and women and have come to understand, that is not the case. Marriage is a beautiful covenant with perks and struggles just like b...
I hope this page finds you well. It feels a little out of my norm to be writing out my thoughts for the world to see, but here we are. When it comes to writing I never want it to be persuasive but rather an unveiling of my truth. Hence the title...I know clever! Here you will come to find that I'm a flawed Christian with imperfect thoughts running the race but ultimately trusting that He is in control.