“Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life-well, valuable, but small- and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven’t been brave? -Kathleen Kelly
Leave it to a chick flick to give me all the feels and blow my mind with its daunting question. Have I wasted it? Don’t mind me, just here having my milestone birthday crisis.
Turning 30 for so many can have the welcoming feeling of “I’ve arrived” or “I’m a real ADULT now, let’s celebrate me!”
I must confess I feel quite the opposite. : Ugh, tilts head back: Even now as I am writing I am second guessing myself. See, if you’re like me you have lived with the comforting habitual habits that can steal your joy. Seriously, how many of us fall back and take hold of our very own Linus Van Pelt Blanket. What a comfort and sense security we get from rags. I want to say, I’m too old for a blanket, but fear is fond of covers.
And there it is the root. The fear which sprouts self-doubt which gives life to the lack of self-confidence and the questioning of self-worth and so on and so forth.
I’ve been working little by little on improving my reactions and response to circumstances. You know that flight or fight reaction. Maybe you’re an expert on dealing with things not planned but I am not… I’m learning there is beauty in that. Beauty in that our walks are to look different and never to be compared or evaluated to one another. Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do I do this? It’s easy to get distracted. We look to the left or to our right or even to ourselves when we should be looking to JESUS.
What does it mean to look to Jesus? Scripture says, “Those who look to Him are radiant with joy; their faces will never be ashamed.” –Psalm 34:5
The word look when translated to its root meaning means to have faith or confidence.
CONFIDENCE!
Looking to Jesus is being confident that what He says is true. Including all the verses in which he talks about us.
I am a child of God. I am an heir. I am His beloved. I am a new creation. Nothing or no one can grasp me from His hand. That’s powerful!
If we keep our gaze set on God alone we would no longer seek a security blanket for protection, for He has covered us with His precious blood.
Our gaze ladies and gentlemen should not be placed on things that will come to pass.
I ask you this, “In your life who or what has your gaze. Is it you? Are your eyes so fixed on what you can bring to the table? Are your eyes so fixed on what you see in the mirror? Is it your husband or wife,? Is it your children, your career? Some of these things are important, but they are not most important. Christ is.
Contentment in Jesus, I am not entitled to it, and by no means does it come easy, but I am blessed by it.
Even though I started this post on a midlife rant I hope that is not the takeaway. So here’s to celebrating life. I look forward to getting to know Him deeper because I have not arrived and never will so long as I am here until I get to go home and kingdom comes.
For now, I’ll work hard, I’ll be grateful. Complain less. I’ll serve in love. I’ll set goals and will take courage towards my dreams with an open hand and no tight grip, that I might not miss His blessings. I will seek confidence in Jesus. I’ll have joy because His grace runs deep.
Look to Jesus –Hebrews 12:2
Photo Credit: Your Photography RGV

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